The Top Five Most Amazing, Remarkable, Greatest Things in the World

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By George Gurl

JURASSIC PARK—Truth is, I wasn’t feeling tremendously eloquent today. Maybe it’s because summer has been hanging on too long, and I’m over the sticky Florida heat. Maybe it’s because it’s been a long week and I’m TGIF-ing. I mean, who can focus after 3 o’clock on a Friday? Maybe my paws are just too tired to type. I dunno. Whatever it is, I decided to take the easy route and throw together my very own Top Something Or Other List. So here it is, folks: the top five, most AMAZING, REMARKABLE, GREATEST things in the world.

5. Shoes

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Oh shoes. How I love thee. So stinky and soft and utterly chewable. My humans discourage the chewing and people-pleaser that I am, I don’t want to disappoint them, so I just gather them up and innocently lie next to them. “Look at Georgie,” they say. “She just loves her shoes.” And I do, but sometimes, when they’re not looking, I nibble a little.

4. Swimming

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Y’all probably will think I’m spoiled when I share this bit of info: I have my own swimming pool. It’s big and blue and there’s a terrified octopus that lives in the bottom, who I WILL catch someday. Remember how I mentioned that it’s grotesquely hot here in Florida? Well, it’s not half as bad when you can romp around in a pool.

3. Water Bottles

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My humans will say, “Oh, look at that Georgie. So good about her recycling.” But the truth is, water bottles are just amazing, crunchy, crackly fun—and they’re everywhere. I can’t explain that feeling when I’m just strolling down the sidewalk and BAM… there it is.. another crinkly, Zephyrhills spring water bottle that fits *just* right between my powerful canine jaws.

2. Lamb Chop

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Wow. We’re getting near the end of the list. So that’s me and my girl, Lamb Chop, on the right. I think the human equivalent is what you would call a “bestie.” Only since Lamb Chop and I can’t text, we look out the window and snuggle and just generally find comfort in each other’s presence. Sometimes, if I’ve had a particularly taxing day, I’ll suck on her ear quietly while my humans watch TV. She never complains — and I carry her with me everywhere. She even went to my hysterectomy last month.

Everyone needs a Lamb Chop.

1. A Warm Lap

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And finally, we find ourselves here at number one, the best of the best, the cream of the crop, the most wonderful thing of all: the human lap. I pride myself on being a pretty independent dog. I’m not big into being carried around, I sleep comfortably in my own crate and I only tolerate the leash because I’ve been trained to. But even the toughest broads need some nurturing sometimes, and I can verify 100% that there’s nothing like a human lap. I’ll let you in on a little secret too. Recently, I overheard one of my humans say I’m getting too big to be a lapdog and that made me giggle a little. Silly humans. There’s just some things you never outgrow.

4 thoughts on “The Top Five Most Amazing, Remarkable, Greatest Things in the World

  1. I’ve just found your page, and this resonates so close to my heart. My wheatie baby has all these favorites! (Except for the lap: you’d be hard-pressed to find a more aloof pup). A dedicated swimmer, water bottle connoisseur, and good friend to her giant lamb chop, as well. I can’t wait for these little nuggets of joy to appear on my page and light up my day. So swell to meet you, Georgie!

    Like

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