Puppy Love, Unrequited

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By Georgie Gurl

You know that moment when you meet someone amazing and time just stops? Everything around you just fades out and all you see is this incredible, perfect dog? Yeah, that’s how it was the first time I met Benito.

Sounds cliché, and I hate clichés but that’s exactly what happened.

It was the dead of summer in Jurassic Park. Beetles buzzing everywhere and air so heavy even the frogs had trouble breathing and there I was, trudging to the mailbox with my Mom in my fur freaking coat when I first encountered him.

He was the most exotic creature I’d ever seen. He almost resembled a fox with his thick russet hair and gorgeous tail. He was compact. Some would even say small, but he didn’t carry himself like a small dog.

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He yawned as we approached and while our Moms exchanged human pleasantries, I made my move.

I went right into downward dog ass high in the air, face to the ground, inviting this mysterious little fox to play with me.

He cocked his head and backed up and let out a deep growl.

Okay, so maybe it was too much too fast. I’ve been known to come on too strong. My bad, but there’s no playing it cool when you’re a Wheatie. Impulse wins out always. And why wouldn’t this little fox want me as much as I wanted him?

At that point, I leapt at his head to break the tension and put him in the mood to play. I got a whiff of his musky, manliness and felt giddy. He snapped back and showed me his gorgeous white fangs.

“Sorry,” Benito’s Mom said, with a laugh. “Sometimes, he can be a little neurotic.”

Neurotic? As in crazy and unpredictable? My pulse quickened and I knew I was a goner. See, I have a thing for bad boys and this fox lookalike was clearly the BADDEST boy in the neighborhood.

Despacito, Benito

I didn’t see Benito again for a few days after that, but I thought about him. A lot. In my fantasy, he’d spot me across the soccer field by the mailboxes and start singing “Despacito” like Luis Fonsi.

 

Tengo que bailar contigo hoy.
Vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamándome,
Muéstrame el camino que yo voy.

 

Yes, you know I’ve been looking at you for a while,

I have to dance with you today.

I saw that your look was already calling me,

Show me the way and I’ll go.

I imagined us running side-by-side through the fields of Jurassic Park, chasing birds, wrestling, eating mulch and growing old together. Georgie Gurl and Benito The Fox. We would be THAT couple. Impossibly perfect, beautiful and amazing. That annoying couple everyone else wants to be.

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There was just one problem, though. Benito didn’t quite feel the same way.

It was hard to let go of the idea of Benito and me together. I mean, not to brag or sound cocky or anything, but most people like me. A lot. I’m really a great dog. I’m fun and spunky. Good with kids. I’m perfectly housetrained. I’m really quite stunningly beautiful too.

“Give it time,” I thought. “Eventually, he’ll realize what an amazing catch I am.”

For some annoying reason, Benito just didn’t seem to see in me what everyone else did.

But it wasn’t until the day he unexpectedly showed up during a play date with my bestie, Ivy, that I realized he never would.

I tried to play it off when he pranced into the yard and gave me his usual growl and snap. “Oh, hi Benito,” I quipped. “Long time, no see. Wussup?”

But the jerk didn’t even stop for small talk. He sauntered past me and went right up to Ivy and started to woo her!

“Hello, my beautiful lady. Do you come to this yard often?” he said, all smiles.

Ivy did her usual demure act and giggled and trotted away. Ugh. I never realized how annoying and prissy she was before.

But Benito seemed entranced by her girlie, Aussie Doodle ways. Wherever Ivy went, he went. Whatever Ivy sniffed, he sniffed. And then… I won’t even say what he did.

It was truly disgusting. I mean, I was right there.

Trying to appear all innocent and stuff, Ivy shot me this “I’m not really interested look,” but I could tell she was enjoying the attention, and that’s when I lost it.

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“SO YOU WANT MY FUTURE HUSBAND, BENITO? THEN PREPARE TO FIGHT, IVY!”

I did one circle around the air conditioning unit, ran as fast as I could and body slammed my best friend.

 

Moving On

Looking back on it all, I’m not proud of my behavior but I’ve also learned a few things.

Lesson One

We can’t control who we fall for. I can’t explain why I fell so madly in love with Benito or why he didn’t like me back. Maybe it was because I had never felt those feelings before. And just like I couldn’t control my passion for Benito, Benito couldn’t control his desire for Ivy.

Lesson Two

You can’t always get what you want. Just like Benito didn’t want me, Ivy didn’t want Benito and that’s okay. It just means there is someone else out there. Patience, young grasshopper.

Lesson Three

Friends are more important than boys. Ivy and I have patched things up and I’m pretty sure we’ll always be great friends, even if she is too prissy.

Lesson Four

I used to think that there was just one other dog in this entire universe meant for me. But now, I know that there are other fish in the sea. Lots of them, in fact! I even met a very cute boy at doggy daycare named Gunner (see below) and we’re taking it despacito (slowly) and seeing where things go.

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Me and Gunner

One thought on “Puppy Love, Unrequited

  1. Pingback: A Dog’s Best Friends | The Wheaten Chronicles

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